Shia LaBeouf said he felt suicidal after facing “a shame like I’ve never felt before” following a series of public scandals.
The actor confided in the preparation of the title role in Father Pioa film about the Catholic saint by director Abel Ferrara (bad lieutenant).
Speaking in a 90-minute YouTube interview with Bishop Robert Barron, founder of Catholic ministry organization Word On Fire, the actor revealed his path to Catholicism began ‘when his world fell apart’ following a series of public rehab incidents and accused of sexual abuse by ex-girlfriend FKA Twigs in 2020.
Recalling that time, LaBeouf said, “At this point, I’m nuclear. Nobody wants to talk to me, including my mother. The director does not call. The agent does not call. I am no longer connected to the company.
The actor later explained that he felt suicidal, saying, “I had a gun on the table. I was out of here. I didn’t want to be alive when all this happened. Shame like I’ve never felt one before – the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don’t know where to go. You can’t go out and eat a taco.
“But I was also in this deep desire to hold on,” he added.
LaBeouf said he found faith while searching for Padre Pio by surprise, with his mindset focused on his career rather than spirituality when he took on the role.
“The contact had taken place. I was already there, I had nowhere to go,” LaBeouf said. “It was the last stop of the train. There was nowhere to go – in any way.
He added, “I know now that God was using my ego to draw me to him. Moving away from worldly desires. Everything was happening simultaneously. But there would’ve been no impetus for me to get in my car, drive [to the monastery] if I didn’t think, ‘Oh, I’m going to save my career.’
Referring to “the woman who accused me of all this,” LaBeouf said, “I wanted to go on Twitter and write all these things. I wanted to justify this and explain all this. Now I really see that… the woman saved my life. She is, for me, a saint in my life. She saved my life. This shift in perspective seems miraculous.
In February 2021, LaBeouf denied all allegations against him, including causing “any injury or loss”. The trial between FKA Twigs – real name Tahliah Barnett – and LaBeouf is scheduled to take place in Los Angeles on April 17, 2023.
Recently, Olivia Wilde revealed her decision to fire LaBeouf from her film don’t worry darlingsaying it was due to the actor’s “combative” process.
“I say this as someone who is such an admirer of his work,” Wilde said. Variety. “His process was not conducive to the ethics that I demand in my productions. He has a process that in some ways seems to require combative energy, and I personally don’t think that is conducive to the best performances.